I’m Here to Help

Well, it’s the 13th day of 2020, 13 being an auspicious number for transformation, and it’s time to check in! Especially since the last time I checked in I was leaving Loose Screw Tattoo, helpfully transitioned by some of the most professional people I’ve ever had the honor of working with. I was bouncing from shop to shop this summer while my friend… and now I can say it… Christian Buckingham was opening his shop. Yes, THE Christian Buckingham from several seasons of Ink Master. Renowned for his black and grey and on-screen antics. He and I formed a friendship at LST and found that we were quite like-minded on a lot of things.

In December of 2019, I graduated from the Karuna 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training, but I still have quite a few hours to fill. It wasn’t my intent going into it to end up teaching classes- except maybe leading groups of tattooers in a gentle morning practice at conventions. I did it to enrich my knowledge and understanding of something I’ve been doing on my own for years. Something that has sustained me through chronic pain and fatigue, that I want to share with others. I trust that my deepened understanding will enrich my art and all that time and energy will come back to me if I can share what I have learned, in whatever way that happens.

If I could sum up the benefit this experience has had on my life, I would say that it brought me through a dark night of the soul, I have had some really low moments as I shed layers of trauma, but in those moments I got in touch with a deeper peace. There is a stillness that resides beneath my reactions, my feelings, my thoughts, my need to do something in reaction to the universe around me. And from this place of peace I have learned of my own power to influence the world around me as I see fit. And I’ve seen that when I come from a place of peace and love and joy, I create a more habitable environment for myself and the people I care about.

Tarot card I designed for my research project for yoga teacher training

I feel the shifts happening in our collective consciousness. So many of us are waking up to the inner guru and shedding all that no longer serves. Growth can be painful, but it doesn’t have to be. That which we resist, persists. We all make mistakes every day! But when you see it, you have to know it doesn’t affect your worth. Learn how to be better, and move forward. And if you keep stumbling over the same lesson, you’ve got to see things differently before you’ll ever move forward.

I’m in a place professionally, emotionally, and artistically that I feel really empowered in, and with reasonably-paced growth I could maintain this place for the long term happily. I hope this for you too, dear reader. And if it isn’t that way for you, ask yourself what is stopping you from finding that goldilocks zone that makes space for future growth but keeps you content in the moment? Start by looking inward, asking yourself questions about yourself and how much of your discontent lies in your own reaction and how much of it is in allowing others to cross your boundaries? Steal your time? Steal your energy? Your joy? I invite you to create your own world from the inside out.

And then if you feel so inclined, you could share that journey with me. I can give you a tarot reading for some guidance, or if you have just come through some kind of transformation and want to get a tattoo to symbolize that shift, I’m here for it. I’m also here just to make pretty pictures. I’m here to help.

Namasté.

Changes afoot!

So it’s a little less than a year since we moved to Richmond and already things are shifting. I’m looking for the right place to put down roots, and Loose Screw was undergoing some organizational changes that I couldn’t see working out for my family, so I let them know and finished out my appointments from that date. Everyone was respectful and worked together to do what’s right by everyone involved.

We had already bought a house here in Richmond, and I certainly wouldn’t have moved here if I thought LST was the only shop that could help me reach my career goals. So I decided to spend the summer doing guest spots locally and in select cities, do some conventions, launch an online store for prints, continue my yoga teacher training, and spend some much-needed time with my family. By the Autumn of this year I should be able to announce what shop I will call home, and I am so excited for that.

I had found a place where I got everything I wanted from my apprenticeship days- I was doing nothing but custom tattoos, booked up almost 2 months ahead after only being there a few months. But it came at a greater cost than I am willing to pay. Each custom tattoo takes (on average) as many hours to draw as it does to tattoo. When you’re booked solid, that means there is no time to draw during business hours, which meant an average of 5 drawing hours a day outside of work. Spending time with my children, my biggest contribution to the next generation, matters to me. They’re at a very formative age, and there will only be so much time left where they actually want to spend time with me. So now I have a much clearer picture of my work needs.

It was, of course terrifying to make the blind leap from barely manageable security to free fall. I’m still busting my butt, even more so now because I’m setting things up for the new normal. So thank you for your patience while I get things settled.

I will be doing a guest spot at Unkindness Art from May 14 – 28. This is very exciting because, as you may know, this shop is a host to several well-known resident artists and countless iconic guest artists. From May 29 through June 13 I will be at True Tattoo, and after meeting Scott, the owner, I am really looking forward to experiencing the work environment he describes. Getting really good vibes there.

After that, a family vacation. Keep an eye on Instagram for further updates, conventions, and guest spots!

Peace !

Richmond is Loverly

I have a darling new client. She’s getting a large scale piece I’m particularly excited to do, so already she’s got alllll the points. But then she tells me she read my blog and she thought I was still in Maryland at first. Cue “oops, I forgot to update my blog!”

Cuz who reads my blog?

Anyway, here’s the news. RJ and I have moved, like so many are doing right now, to Richmond Virginia. Richmond is amazing, everything you could want in a city- culture, nightlife, murals and monuments everywhere, a river running through it, tattooed people everywhere- and it’s still affordable… for now. We’ve already seen more bands in the last few months than we saw in our entire stay in southern Maryland. We feel as if we’ve gotten our lives on track to a picture of our own design.

My mom retired and my parents moved up to Richmond and they watch the kids for us. After years of living a prohibitive distance from each other, it is so heartwarming to reconnect with them. No one loves you like family.

What’s more is that I’m working at one of the best shops in the city, possibly the country, Loose Screw Tattoo. Owned and operated by Jesse Smith (on seasons 2 and 7 of Ink Master, but before that he basically pioneered the new school/illustrative kooky character genre all by himself), the shop boasts long time new school tattooing veteran Jason Stephan, Ink Master star Christian Buckingham, spooky power couple GWooKi and Sabrina, zombie caricature artist to the stars Nick Mitchell, future rock star illustrative artist Chris Jenkins, black and grey realism wizard Juan Canales, apprentice Jen Bean and one of the best support staffs I’ve ever seen.

I know right? I can’t believe it myself. I don’t know what I’m doing there. I was just the thing that wouldn’t go away and Jesse took pity and hired me. He sits with me biweekly and critiques my work and points me in the right direction. I wanted growth and boy am I getting it, and all I have to offer in return is a naturally sunny disposition and a drive to be the best I can be.

I’m not really on Facebook much anymore. It feels like a huge waste of time, especially my business page. Every time one of my friends likes or comments on a tattoo I post, some elderly relative who doesn’t yet understand how Facebook works comments about how much they hate tattoos in general because it popped up in their feed and they can’t read the fine print that tells them why it’s there. Facebook is the dumpster where people put their useless opinions. So Instagram is my platform of choice now. Follow me @fronkietattoos to keep up to date with my progress, travels, and special deals.

Thanks for reading!

A Brutally Honest Examination of My Progress

It’s been a few months now since I came back to work, so I decided it’s time to check in on how things were going.

As I returned to work, I found it all coming back to me like riding a bike. My machines sprang back to life with very little tuning required. As I held them in my hands, I felt as if a limb I had lost and forgotten was suddenly reattached. The warmth spread up my arm and straight to my heart. ”At last! My right arm is complete again!” (Sweeney Todd)

But something was different this time. Something good. I was humbled. I approached the craft with the respect it deserves without my ego getting in the way. I hadn’t done so much as a doodle aside from class assignments in the 2+ years I’d been away from my professional home. This left me open to start at the beginning again, focusing on the traditional elements of design as they pertain to tattoos. It also helps that I had taken a class on the elements of 2d design in the interim. Now instead of approaching a tattoo as a painter or a sketch artist, I approached the tattoo as a tattooer.

In some ways, I’m not sure if my skills have regressed or if I’m just now recognizing shortcomings I’ve always had as an artist. Imperfect lines, blurry details in pieces meant to be photorealistic, a need to push past the initial drafts of a design to create one more complete and harmonious, with depth and feeling. In other ways, possibly related, I think I’m coming along better and faster than I did before, and those ways are absolutely rooted in my newfound humility and deepened respect for this medium. My approach to clients is more professional and warm, and seeks to peel back the surface of the mundane and get at the heart. This not only makes the experience better for all of us, but makes the tattoo better as well. I very rarely settle for the Pinterest tattoo someone brings in, I almost always get to redesign the image in a way that serves the individual in a way more unique to that person. But I’ve also gotten better at accepting when the Pinterest tattoo is what the client really truly wants, and still treating it with all the reverence due an original piece of art. My compositions and general processes have gotten stronger, too.

I look back on my career and the development of my abilities and see a weak foundation, missed opportunities to grow, a lot of time wasted. Though I began tattooing in 2005, I almost want to discount those first 5 years as 1 year of progress. The things I see apprentices doing these days blow my mind. To be fair, the industry has changed immensely since I was an apprentice too. I think I’ll always go along feeling like my apprenticeship never ended, I’m just looking for new mentors everywhere. And that’s a good thing.

Announcing The Return

Not long ago, I announced that I was going back to school to pursue a BFA in Illustration. Today I make yet another big announcement. While I’m still actively pursuing my degree, I have also decided to begin tattooing again. I will be back at King of the Bay Tattoo in Solomon’s, Maryland, the best shop I’ve ever had the pleasure of working in, starting next week. Our family is complete and the youngest is becoming more independent, so the timing feels right. I missed tattooing deeply and look forward to picking up where I left off and continuing to grow as an artist in this ancient yet constantly innovative medium. I’m honored to work alongside these talented, hardworking artists again!

Back to School

That’s right!  I’m back in school, picking up where I left off in 2007 when I was medically withdrawn from classes and subsequently lost my scholarship for having too few credits in the required time.  I’ve been attending classes at College of Southern Maryland, I have a 4.0 average, and I’m applying to the best art schools around the country for a BFA in Illustration.

There are some barriers for me, especially with the kids.  But for once I can say those barriers are no longer internal.  I return with the work ethic I learned from years of experience.  I return with a new attitude- not “what can the school give me?” but “what can I give the school?”  And there is nothing I can’t do if I decide I’m going to do it.

If you’re checking out my page looking for my portfolio, click the 3 little lines at the top left of the page for a site menu.  Thanks for looking!

Lost photos of my last weeks tattooing, and new thoughts on why I stopped.

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This one was actually one of the last tattoos I did, on a very dear friend of mine and former bandmate.  The quote he sent me (from Moby Dick) as the inspiration for this tattoo was so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes.  This was one of those dream pieces- where the person tells you what they want the tattoo to represent, what it means to them, and then lets you conceptualize the piece yourself.

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I actually did this Crimson Peak piece at Megacon in early March, months before I stopped tattooing.  My dear friend and respected artist, Josh B referred his client to me since at the last minute he would be unable to attend.  She was a blogger and had seen a sneak preview of the film, and was already a huge fan.  I never posted this picture because I was waiting for healed photos.  Working with so much black after I had already completed the details on the face, a lot of that dark pigment seeped into the surface of the skin and muddied all the color in his face.  I wanted to wait to get a picture of the healed tattoo.  The face looks perfect now, but unfortunately a lot of the ink fell out of his glove.  The following picture is how the face looked before the black ink muddied up the color on his face.

Crimsonpeak

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This was done on a young client of mine within the last few weeks I was working.  His mother brought him to me before his 18th birthday to get a tattoo in tribute to his sister.  Before he got this blue rose tattoo, a tribute to his mother, he went and got tattooed by a friend in his friend’s house.  So I spent a good deal of the time while tattooing this blue rose to give him a lecture on being in a rush to get covered in tattoos at such a young age.

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This tattoo was one of the first I began at King of the Bay, back in 2013.  One thing about tattoos on peoples’ backs, they can’t see them on a daily basis and are therefor less motivated to come in and finish them.  🙂

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This was another piece that took a long time to complete, but for obvious reasons.  It’s one of my favorites, very fun subject matter.  In my final weeks, I filled in the background and tattooed the ship in the inner arm.

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This client got in with me too late to actually get a sleeve, but we did complete several of the components, and now all he needs is some filler.

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This was another piece that took a very long time to complete, again, a client who came in in my first few months at King of the Bay.  Her reason for not coming in to finish it was the hardship of being a mom and finding childcare, but also just the fact that she can’t stand being away from her little one.  I get that.

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This was the finishing session on a sleeve for a young man, basically encapsulating his values.  This part was for the piece dedicated to the Bible story of Sharach, Meeshac, and Abednigo, who were ordered into the furnace for not bowing to the statue of Nebuchadnezzar.  A fourth figure appeared in the flames, and the guards were ordered to keep heaping more and more fuel into the fire, to make it hotter, so much so that many soldiers died from the heat, but the men inside survived unscathed.

It took me a ridiculously long amount of time to come around to doing this blog.  Largely, I blame my first trimester of pregnancy.  All I seem to have accomplished in the last 3 months is keeping a toddler and a fetus alive.  No small feat, I tell you.  The hormones knocked me out, I felt as if I needed someone to peel me off the floor on a daily basis.  But as I begin my second trimester, I find both energy and mental clarity returning slowly.

As one may have gathered from my post, As the Beginning Eats the End, at the time I decided to stop tattooing, my reasons felt flimsy but my resolve was certain.  My boss, self-appointed “Psychic Ass-hole”, who is rarely ever wrong, told me that if I wasn’t pregnant in 6 months, I’d be back.  And if I did get pregnant, I’d be tattooing again when the kids were older.  I didn’t believe him, but I knew he’s rarely wrong.  It’s one of the many things I respect so much about him.

Yesterday, my friend who has just started tattooing in recent months, after years of being part of the community through photography, posted a status on facebook that reminded me of how I felt those first few years tattooing.  Not getting enough work, not doing enough of the tattoos I want to do.  It’s why I kept waiting tables– I preferred to be busy.  I didn’t realize that the secret to tattooing is slowing down and focusing.  That means using all your down time to study other artists, to draw things that you’re not comfortable with over and over and watch your growth.  To seek out the knowledge of more experienced artists.  To develop your eye for color and composition.  The desire to be busy is a by-product of our fear of being a slave to time.  To create something timeless, you must learn to make time your slave.  This is one of the most beautiful things tattooing has taught me, and it never crystallized into words until last night.

My time tattooing at King of the Bay brought me to a precipice.   I could see my art and my career going everywhere I ever wanted them to go, without limit, if I would only dedicate my life to it fully.  I had finally come to understand the truth about what kind of devotion my craft deserved.  I finally had the right mentor, the right mindset, and years of experience in my corner.

But I also have a very young child– some might still call her a baby– and another on the way.  These fragile years, they go so fast.  These children need so much and they drain the mind and body.  At conventions, my colleagues would often say, “I don’t know how you do it, man.”  I was treading water as a parent and as an artist.  That’s not enough for me.  If I’m going to do anything, I have to do it to the best of my ability.  And if that meant doing just one thing, at least for now, I’d have to do the one thing I can’t abandon.  I didn’t realize that was the choice I had made when I made it.  I made some half-hearted attempts at pursuing other careers before ultimately admitting to myself that this was my purpose, my sole focus… for now.  Being a mother.  Our society places very little value on caring for people, subjugating your needs to those of your family.  It’s all about what you produce, how we serve ourselves.  It wasn’t easy for me to choose to turn my back on that mindset.  When the children are more independent, time will reveal my next great purpose.  And perhaps that will be tattooing again.

I realized I do love tattooing, passionately.  It wasn’t just a means to an end.  I love it so much, I can’t bear to do it half-assed, as mothering the very young forces us to do with everything but that very sacred duty.